A Win

It should be a banana flavored – mmm – something. She could almost taste it. A walnut flavor in the concoction and maybe cinnamon? She stared into space, cupboard door open and spoon in hand. She took a sip of coffee, then another, then a long gulp. It had gone cold while she had been lost in thought and imagination. Pulling a mixing bowl to the counter, she dropped the spoon in it with a clang, emptied the cold coffee from her mug into the sink, and refilled it from the still-hot carafe.

What was she even thinking? It’s just that the year had been – well she didn’t want to think about what it had been. Hard; not a terribly descriptive word, but true. Long; another, because the year had behind it other not so great years. And now what would it accomplish for her to do this – little something – that had never held import to her? She sighed. She needed a win.

Did she even stand a chance in the bake-off?  Long-time residents and new townsfolk freely joined in competition of original recipes in the small town annual tradition. She never had. But this year she did because this year, for the first time, she cared. Maybe she cared because her sister had taken second place last year, her mother had been first for more years than she could count, and her grandma’s and great grandma’s names were still known for their grand prize concoctions. Or maybe somehow, somewhere in the ether of thought, the importance of carrying on tradition, of knowing – not just from stories, but from experience – the gratification of pride in one’s own effort caught her attention. Maybe she finally was willing to put some skin in the game, so to speak.

She bit her thumbnail as she paged through an old recipe book. She grabbed a few more, in addition to her Grandma’s recipe box, and moved to a comfy chair. An hour later she was deep in concentration and contentment as she blended her original combination. If a sample of the batter meant anything, her Boston Banana Cream Cake with coffee-flavored ganache could be a contender. A generous piece with a glass of milk assured her she was right. Now to make a duplicate for the weekend’s contest.

“I loooved your bake-off entry!” Ginny exclaimed on their way out of church the following Sunday.

“Thank you. Your chocolate coconut cookies were great.”

Stella came up behind them. “I don’t know how you all come up with your ideas. Congratulations on taking first place. And your first time, too!”

“You know she comes from a long line of winners, Stel.”

“Oh. That’s right! Must be in the genes.”

She smiled. “I don’t know about that.”

Later, she thought over the weekend’s success. Winning wasn’t in anyone’s genes, was it? Was it more determination or creativity or was it something else? Fate? God? She thought of her great grandmother’s life – a person she’d never met. Though she’d had a hard year, her great grandma had more than one hard year. Maybe many. If stories meant anything, the woman worked her fingers to the bone. But she somehow had found the will and time to enter a happy little bake-off and not only won, but taken home more than one grand prize over the years. Why did she enter? What would she have become in different times? And did the hard times create something in her that led to creativity and determination?

She got up and took a bite of her entry straight from the platter. Whatever it was, wherever it came from, she was grateful she’d made the effort. Proud, even. She’d take the win.

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Everything I Ever Needed I Found At Fleet Farm

There’s a certain scent in hardware stores – not the perfumy enticement of a department store cosmetic counter, but rather a scent of sort of solid security suggesting all will be well. Likewise, Fleet Farm Supply. Fleet Farm offers more, though.

When I was a young boy, I’d head straight for the toy aisles at Christmas where I found the toy tractors and farm implements emblazoned in their catalogues. In springtime, I’d make a beeline for the cheeping sounds of chicks kept in a large trough under warming lights at the back of the store. As a young man, I found satisfactory clothes there and, when I was on my own, I bought the kind of food and drink a person can actually enjoy. Tools? For home and auto, just like an insurance commercial. Hunting and fishing supplies capped my needs. In fact, I’ve often thought everything I’ve ever needed can be found at the Fleet Farm.

Then one day tested that claim.

I’d been moseying through the aisles, stopping too long at fishing lures and probably not long enough at propane. It was because I was gazing at the new fishing lure in my hand, that I ran smack into a customer at the endcap. She nearly fell, but I caught her; and we stood there for a split second locking eyes and sizing each other up. It was uncomfortable and a little exciting at the same time. I’m not sure she felt the same way.

Ten minutes later, I checked out: fishing lure, trail mix, and Dr. Pepper. I’d just tossed my treasure into the backseat, when a voice addressed me. I bumped my head on the ceiling of my car, and, rubbing my head, straightened before I shut the door.

Why were you following me?

It was the customer I’d bumped into earlier.

Following you? I wasn’t following you.

She motioned in the air. And yet, here you are.

Maybe you were following me!

And maybe you are interested in birdfeeders, but I don’t think so.

It’s true. I’m not interested in bird feeders. Never have been.

I glanced at my watch.

It’s lunchtime. Join me?

It’s been twelve years. We have three kids, four dogs, go to church on Sundays, and keep each other content. And I just picked up another bird feeder at Fleet Farm.

**************

I started this story two months ago. And then my mom’s death stopped many of life’s activities, as it should. Maybe I’ll address it sometime. But I wanted to finish what I started. It’s not as long as it might have been. But I am becoming accustomed to accepting that things aren’t always, or even usually, as we might wish them.

*********************

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I Was Sure of It (conclusion)

I traveled ahead and then left as I was sure I should. At what I guessed was hour two, I stopped for a bottle of apple Snapple (it really is the best flavor) and sipped it in my truck as I considered my options. I didn’t care to return home since I’d invested time and gas at this point. Was I headed the right direction? I was so sure. Maybe I should say I had been so sure. The problem with being sure – very sure – is that unless the Good Lord, Himself, has told you, there’s a remote possibility you could be wrong, emphasis on remote. I hate to even admit it. I’m sure you can understand.

The sun was definitely high in the sky and trekking downward. Pulling into a gas station, I swallowed my pride, and inquired, then walked out the door to the sound of laughter a little too loud for my taste.

Anyway, that’s how I ended up spending the night in my truck under the stars, having turned myself completely around and reaching my destination after it closed. Fortunately, there was another auction nearby the following day, and I didn’t care to return home and risk a late arrival not to mention wear and tear on my truck. It was the first time I’d ever parked in the first space in a parking lot.

By the time I woke up and found a row of porta-potties, a few food trucks had begun to arrive. I have to say, my favorite thing about auctions, or anything else for that matter, is the food. I nourished myself with a bag of mini donuts and cup of coffee.

I was kind of glad I missed my intended auction and ended up at this one instead. It was a rowdy bunch and I met some interesting people, one who expressed interest in my truck. I know. Right?

As the day wore on, I was routinely outbid and came up empty. I figured I’d try one more time before I left, though by now the bids were for boxes of things unknown – kind of like a grab bag at a candy store. I got one! Actually two, since the woman taking my money shoved a second one at me for free. I think she was worn out. I paid the princely sum of $15.00 and took them to my truck to see if there was anything of value. They held some pictures taken around the 1920’s I guessed, an old set of encyclopedias, an interesting variety of electronics, and a few things I thought maybe I could sell on FBMP.

My friend arrived Monday to return my laptop. I invited her in and, after hearing about her research paper, I dug around in one of the auction boxes.

“Ah! Here it is,” I said, handing her a laptop. It was a Dell.

“I checked it out. It seems to be in good condition. Anyway, since I have one, I thought maybe you could use it.”

She nearly squeezed the breath out of me, and her expressions of thanks were nearly as rowdy as the auction had been. I started craving mini donuts.

I’m sitting here now, tapping the end table with the card the guy who was interested in my truck gave me. He wrote his phone number on it. Should I call him? I’m leaning toward what I’m sure should be yes. Maybe.

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I Was Sure of It

“No, no. It’s fine,” I said shoving my laptop into her hands.

“Are you sure? I can go to the library,” answered my friend.

“And we know how dependable those computers can be,” I replied, recalling the last time she’d done so and lost half of the research paper she had been working on leading to her being docked a grade for lateness.

“Go.” I insisted.

She went. That was two days ago. Her paper was due on Monday and I assumed she would get it back to me by then. Yes, I know what they say about assuming things, but she’s my friend.

Why doesn’t she have her own laptop? I don’t know. I figure being poor can do that to you. Because she is; not the kind of poor that qualifies for free stuff, but the kind of poor that is enough to make life inconvenient and slightly uncomfortable.

I was up early Saturday morning, plan in my head and truck keys in my hand. It was north – actually northeast – and I knew that if I traveled ahead and then left, I would reach the place within an hour. Maybe two. Maybe three. (Okay, so estimations have never been my forte, and let’s admit some vehicles are more dependable than others which, of course, makes a difference in times of arrival.) But of the direction and distance? I was sure of it.

So certain was I that I left without my watch, the band being uncomfortable, and a compass, because who uses a compass besides the military and orienteering buffs? (Oh yes. I had one. I displayed it on a small round end table along with an Adelaide Hurricane lamp and an old copy of A Message to Garcia. It was a gift I valued because of the giver, but never used.)

You’re thinking I should just GPS it on my phone. Of course you are. I agree, but I had dropped my phone in the community pool the day before while I was trying to find the link for my suit that a new acquaintance admired and asked for, and it was currently spending the day in a package of uncooked rice. (I have to admit my swimming suit is amazing.) No, I couldn’t map quest it on my laptop, which, as you’ll recall was in the possession of my friend.

Some people collect old pickups. Let’s just say they wouldn’t want mine. I started it and set out.

By hour two I was beginning to feel slightly unsettled. Feeling undone would come later.

to be continued . . .

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Free and Convenient (conclusion)

I spent the better part of an hour nosing around by the meter. I even opened the boxes I had moved for the meter readers, examining every single item which I removed piece by piece. It was a good thing I’d changed out of my pajamas and had a decent pair of shoes on or I would have lost a toenail over a large set of old Star Trek DVDs that slipped from my grasp as I unloaded it. I found nothing in the boxes, but the intermittent beeping continued.

Time slipped away and I would have to figure things out later. I had the luxury of a remote job, but that didn’t mean I could ignore my computer all morning.

The beeping couldn’t be heard on the main floor, and as I mulled it over while frying a small steak and broiling cut-up potatoes sprinkled liberally with seasoning salt, I realized that I probably wouldn’t have noticed it without the visit from Remer Electric’s annoying meter readers because I wouldn’t have been in the basement in the first place. I wouldn’t have noticed it this time, either, but for the boxes I had hurriedly carried down there a couple of weeks ago.

I’d done a little research over my lunch break and discovered the probable source of the beeping, though I could hardly believe it. So after supper, I went outside and squatted to examine the side of my house. There it was: a patched hole in the wall where my meter was installed. Someone had attached the wires (barely covered by shallow trench I should have noticed) from their own home to my circuits!

I marched over to the neighbor closest to that side of my house – he had moved in last August to my recollection – who, after a stuttering denial, admitted he had planned to only temporarily borrow some electricity when he first moved in, but that time had gotten away from him. How convenient.

“Electricity shouldn’t cost anything, anyway,” he continued, “You’re probably unaware of this, but an inventor named . . .”

“Tesla. Nikola Tesla. Yes, I know.”

My neighbor’s eyes lit up.

“No no no no,” I interrupted his excuse. “Tesla is dead . . .”

“As far as you know . . .”

Heaven help me. I had a nerd of the highest order next door. I hurried to get us back on track before he wandered into a wormhole.

“Someone, in fact, is paying for it regardless, and that someone is me. And I have enough keeping up with my bills without paying for yours, too!”

“Only the electricity.”

“Change it back to your house and change it by morning, or I’m reporting you.”

He held up his hand. “Has it occurred to you the sound from your meter could align your entrainment?” In explanation, he added, “I’m a neurologist.”

“I don’t care if you’re a circus clown! Besides, you’ve no need to borrow anything from me with what your paycheck must be.”

“It started out as temporary, remember? I had no intention of stealing anything from you. Please. Let’s discuss this like two reasonable adults.”

Nothing seemed reasonable at the moment: not smart meters, not pesky meter readers tromping through my house, and not sneaky neighbors.

He opened his door wider and motioned me in. Why did I go in? It was an automatic response.

A person should check automatic responses in herself every once in awhile, I realized, as I sipped on an excellent cup of tea and enjoyed a macaron.

It was midnight by the time I returned to my house. My neighbor had turned out to be knowledgeable in more than neurology. Before this, I hadn’t noticed him much. I thought he was an accountant. We ended up having an intriguing discussion bordering on nerdiness of the highest order. It would’ve been embarrassing had anyone listened in. Which they didn’t. That I knew of.

My neighbor must have stayed up into the wee hours because when I woke up and checked, the beeping was gone and the shallow trench had been dug up and covered over again.

It’s been six months. Six months of the pesky meter readers interrupting my first cup of coffee once a month. Six months of lower electric bills. And six months of talking over the fence, shared dinners, and a surprising comradery with my neighbor. And I’ve decided that free and convenient in some things isn’t so bad after all.

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Free and Convenient

“You can’t come here every week!” I said in my most politely agitated voice. The look on the face of the two service people told me they didn’t hear my effort at polite. I tried to sympathize. But seriously? How often did a meter need to be read?

Thinking to myself that everything with the word smart in it was probably smart in favor of someone other than me, I had elected to forego the free and convenient smart meter that would tell the electric company what they needed to know in favor of one that wasn’t smart (according to them). They, of course, needed to install it inside my house. And not being terribly fond of strangers knocking at my door at 7:30 in the morning while I was still in my pajamas trying to enjoy my first cup of coffee, I found their visits less than welcome; and they found them less than welcoming. At least we had something in common. This was the third visit in five weeks, and I was beginning to wonder if Remer Electric had a secret ground game to irritate its uncooperative customers into compliance with their preferences. They were clearly unaware of my ground game of living life on my own terms. Some people might call that crabby. I call it the why am I paying for something that Tesla said should be free in the first place POV. I doubted the meter reader had read anything about Nikola Tesla, but who was I to judge? Everyone knows public utilities are for everyone’s well-being.

After they left I went down to my basement to move back into place the few boxes that had been in the way of them reading the meter. A high pitch followed by a couple of chirpy beeps caught my attention and I stopped long enough to try to determine where it was coming from. The meter? I don’t know much about electric meters, but I’ve lived long enough to know it was unusual for them to make that sort of sound. A quiet hum maybe, but a high-pitched whine? I pulled the boxes away again and examined it. I wasn’t altogether convinced it was the meter. But it was something – what? Attached? Behind?

The problem was going to need another cup of coffee, I reasoned, and I jogged upstairs to fill my cup and get dressed. If I had only known what was ahead, I might’ve done something  more calming, like watching a Star Trek marathon.

to be continued . . .

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The Light

It was so dark he couldn’t see his hand even if he held it in front of his face. At first he hadn’t noticed the gradual encroachment. It was a bit misty, perhaps. Maybe exceptionally cloudy. It was possible he needed his eyes checked. No one believes a lie as easily as the one telling it, but with time his excuses started sounding false even to him. It was dark everywhere lately, and he recalled a place he could get a light to break a path so he at least wouldn’t trip. His grandmother had told him about it – the light – when he was young enough to believe such things existed, and where to find it. He hadn’t given it much thought until now. But now? Now it was all he could think of!

He counted. .7..8..9..10. Ten steps from the base of the storm cellar. He felt around. Brushing through spiderwebs and – eech – surely that was a spider that just ran across the top of his hand – dust, he persevered. Ah! At the back of the second shelf from the top there was something small and about the size he remembered from those years ago. He picked it up. It was a little bigger than an ink pen. He moved his fingers around it until he found what felt like a switch and slid it up with his thumb. Light! A burden he hadn’t known he’d been carrying fell from his body as he looked around the small room. Yes! There. Old canned goods. Metal cans of Folgers. A stack of old wool army blankets. Some matches. He held the light close to them. They looked dry. At that moment the little storm cellar felt like paradise.

After two days of selfish possession there, his conscience tweaked him. The thought of exiting the storm cellar made him a bit nauseous. But, he chided himself, he must. He had friends, even family, who would benefit. And the town just a mile from where he was? They would be thrilled with such an invention! So, too, the towns beyond. But the dark! He dreaded it.

Holding tightly to the light, he set out; first shining it at his feet, then just ahead. And so he made his way to a neighbor’s house at the half mile mark. He wondered if he should knock at the door or call from the yard. What could he do if they tried to wrest it from his grip and hoard it for themselves?! He would not part with the light. No, indeed! He would do whatever necessary to keep it, that was for certain. He needn’t have worried, though, for when his foot stepped on the edge of their property, a light ignited within the house. What? He guessed he didn’t need to stop after all. He approached his sister’s home just a quarter mile ahead. And – another light?! It appeared he hadn’t needed to make this trip in the heavy dark. Still, dark enveloped the town ahead and he continued on. And each time his foot touched a property, a light flickered on in the building it held; sometimes two, sometimes more.

It occurred to him there was a peculiar power in the light he carried that he had not before understood nor even imagined, and that by simply making his minimal effort to bring them the light, a light appeared to them without his further effort.

Soon the town was alight and the darkness seemed to recede.

He plodded on into the suffocating dark ahead. And it happened as before. One step on the property and a light flickered on; house after house, business after business. Somewhere near what he imagined would be the break of dawn except for the forbidding dark, he turned and looked back to where he’d walked. Light! Lights in buildings and on streets! People were venturing out into the glorious open spaces! Over his shoulder a line of darkness still fell. But he knew now that it would yield. Energized, he turned toward it and walked on.

 

Image: pexels-gift-habeshaw-3415211.jpg; pexels-photo-348392.jpeg; mike-ralph-0yIzvpbRFw8-unsplash.jpg; jordan-wozniak-xP_AGmeEa6s-unsplash.jpg; Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on a candlestick, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:15-16; When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’ John 8:12; The truth is like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself. Often credited to St. Augustine of Hippo, but the origin is uncertain. Charles Spurgeon is the source of: Let the pure gospel go forth in all its lion-like majesty, and it will soon clear its own way and ease itself of its adversaries. and is a more likely origin.; One basic truth can be used as a foundation for a mountain of lies, and if we dig down deep enough in the mountain of lies, and bring out that truth to set it on top of the mountain of lies, the entire mountain of lies will crumble under the weight of that one truth…from Behold A Pale Horse by Milton William Cooper

A Piece of the Puzzle (A Quick Hello on Rumble and Bitchute)

We all feel like a small piece of a very big puzzle from time to time. It’s true! During the reign of King Josiah of the Old Testament, a prophetess named Huldah was instrumental in doing her part to help the wayward nation of Israel move back toward honoring God’s law. Her name might not be well-known, but her part was important in purifying Israel under King Josiah. You might have a small part in this time in history, but it is nevertheless important. Speak truth.

Veer Right

One day off. That’s all he wanted. Just a day to roam away from the drudgery of daily discipline. He didn’t have many such days. He was dependable and so was his schedule. His fine reputation was, in part, due to keeping commitments he made whether they made sense or not. He sighed. He was tired of commitments. Well he had none today! This would be a treat! He would RELAX. He decided to take an unfamiliar road out of town and came to a five-booth restaurant in a tiny town where he stopped, made small talk with the only other customer, and got a cup of coffee to go.

He was on the road in no time and looked at the scribbles on the paper next to him. The written directions said to veer right, but there was no right – only straight and a left turn that became a frontage road. He shrugged and kept going straight.

Twenty minutes found him with the choice of a dead end or a sharp left onto a gravel road. He took the left turn. It wasn’t a bad road. He just knew it wasn’t the right road. A stray piece of gravel kicked up and made a tiny chip in his windshield. He leaned closer to peer at it, and in doing so, unintentionally veered toward the ditch, but pulled his car back in the nick of time. Turning back may have been prudent, but he’d committed back when he didn’t veer right because there was no veer right to veer. The road turned into blacktop and led to a mid-sized city.

A glass building with an attached outdoor cafe caught his eye, so he pulled into the nearest parking spot. Why not? He was getting hungry. It was close to 11:00. Close enough. As he was finishing his corned beef and swiss on rye, an eerie sound, low and wavering and unyielding emitted from a sewer grate in the street near where he sat. A few customers ignored it and a few others paid and quickly left.

As he drove away, a deafening explosion followed him. The rearview mirror showed light gray billows of smoke. Steam vapor from unseen vents? An explosion of an old boiler? He increased his acceleration and found himself at a roundabout. He hated those things, but took it as a sign.

His reversed course led him back to the original road. He parked alongside the curb, got out and examined the spot. Okay. He had to admit there was a slight road to the right, but it was nearly overgrown by weeds. He excused himself his original choice. It was understandable why he hadn’t noticed it!

A sudden slap on his back made him jump.

“Hey there, buddy! Did you find the place I told you about? Glorious as all get out! My favorite is the waterfall. Boy howdy does it make noise!”

“Noise?” His ears still buzzed from before.

His acquaintance peered at him more closely. “Guys like you should take a break every now and again. You don’t look so good. You must be hungry. There’s a cute little diner back in town. Just take your first left.” He paused and pointed. “You should get that chip in your windshield fixed. Stan’s auto is two doors down from the diner.”

The man thanked him and got back in his car. A day wasted, a damaged eardrum, and a slight case of dyspepsia. Next time he told himself he should keep going because he’d already committed, he’d slap himself silly and veer even if there was no veer to veer.

In fact . . .  He looked at his watch, started his car, and veered right.

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All The Precious Things

There it was: a little cottage at the edge of three acres of meadow backed up near an endless wood. He hadn’t been there in forever. It had existed around the edges of his consciousness, but he was very good at ignoring those kinds of things.

On a February morning he’d decided to throw together a backpack and see what a free weekend would bring. That he found himself there wasn’t altogether a surprise, though at first it took him back a bit. Without his reasoned and logical permission, his feet had wandered where his soul longed to be.

He gained the entrance easily enough though the dead grasses of winter were still high. The door creaked a bit. Dust mixed with melting snow under his feet, and a tiny pinecone skittered across the floor when the bottom of the door bumped it.

He inhaled deeply as he looked around the room. It smelled musty, but felt like home. The fireplace still held a copper pot, now a greenish hue from oxidation, over the grate. Two chairs held conversation on either side, a small table by each. On one of the tables was an open Bible. He blew the dust from it and sneezed. He peered more closely. John 3:16. Of course. Her love of beauty had always mixed with what was basic and practical. But his love hadn’t been anywhere near what hers had been and she’d left; and without her the cottage seemed to lose its light.

He wandered into the bedroom. Nothing had changed. A heavy quilt of autumn’s colors covered the brass bed. He looked in the closet. Oh! So she had been back! A denim jacket hung alone while a small pair of boots rested on the floor underneath. He hurried over to the dresser drawers. Their emptiness pricked him.

His stomach growled and he went to the kitchen. Pots, pans, plates – all there. He pulled some jerky out of his backpack, sat at the table, and allowed his memory to meander over time. He thought back, finally allowing himself to acknowledge what he missed and his own selfish part in losing the best part of his life.

They’d met in high school, dreamed their dreams, married and planned. She’d done her utmost to make their life together full and beautiful. She had a way of making the ordinary delightful. No one could coax laughter from him like she could. He missed the stories she told from the day’s ordeals and discoveries. He missed the scent of her hair, her touch, her barely perceptible intake of breath when she was startled, the soft sound of her voice. He missed their promises to each other. One, a crazy one actually, was that if for some inexplicable reason they were parted, they would move heaven and earth to find each other on Valentine’s Day. At the time he hadn’t given much thought to any of it.

He hadn’t noticed when, but pretty soon she’d stopped; stopped the stories, the beauty, the laughter. And one day when he’d returned from some seemingly important adventure, she wasn’t there. He’d waited. Days. Weeks. He’d straightened things he habitually left strewn around. He’d chopped more wood and done some tasks she’d given up asking him to do. He’d even prayed a little, certain it wouldn’t make a difference. After another month, he left, too. He went to the city and learned the gratification of money and importance.

Sitting alone in the forgotten cottage holding memories he’d pushed away, at last he admitted to himself the pointlessness of it all. And, for the first time in years, tears flowed. He held his head in his hands and bawled like a baby. For the first time, he acknowledged all the precious things. And they were more unseen than seen. Described with words, but untouchable. Loved and treasured, but not stored. Suddenly his weeping stopped. A sound. Familiar. Missed.

Her barely perceptible intake of breath.

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